Saturday, August 2, 2008

god knows when you don't tip.

So, when did tipping become such a complicated matter? For most of the people i see in my coffee shop everyday it's not such an easy thing. Contrary to popular belief, there is an etiquette for, not necessarily how much but, how to tip. Seeing as how most people struggle, i thought i'd share my knowledge so that you don't find yourself in a position to receive a latte that looks like this:

To answer your question: yes, if it's slow at work and you make me feel less than appreciated, i find some small satisfaction in the fact that you're now drinking a latte with some sort of profanity on it. I always get the last laugh :)



tipping 101
1. I've just handed you your half-caf, skinny, tripple shot, latte with extra foam and half the flavor, followed by your change of 13.85. So what do you do? You give the poor girl at leeeeast a dollar. I mean come on, if the name of your drink is longer than your name, it's safe to say it's pretty complicated to make. And thus resulting in a tip of at least a dollar, two dollars is not bad thing either.

2. It's not brain surgery to just pour a cup of coffee, no latte, no shots of espresso, just coffee (the way the good lord intended it). That common knowledge taken into account, it's not rude to not tip on a plain ol' cup of coffee.

3. Taking lesson 2 into account, if you do decide to tip on a cup of coffee, the change you get pack from paying is usually just coin. You get your coin in your hand, assess the situation. You've got about 75 cents, and you think to yourself 'that girl was awfully nice, i think i'll give her an unnecessary tip'. It is nothing sort of a slap in the face for someone to have 75 cents in there hand, and to go out of there way to put 50 of that back into there wallet, leaving me with a quarter. Thanks a lot asshole for finding it in your budget to spare me quarter, now i don't need to worry about financial aid, with tips like these i'll have enough saved for college by the end of the week! People like these shouldn't be allowed to be members of society, personal opinion.

4. If you frequent a coffee shop on a daily basis, it's not rude or impolite to tip every other day. If you drink lattes like water, a dollar tip per latte can add up quick. We understand that and we're not asking for too much, just a little appreciation for being the soul reason you make it to work on time with a smile on your face and a cup a joe in your hand everyday.

5. From being on the other end, purchasing a drink. Crappy service does not, i repeat, does not warrant a tip. Tips are supposed to be earned, i wouldn't expect somebody to tip me if it took me too long to make their drink or if i was short and unfriendly with them.

6. Last but not least, the standard tip that won't piss of your barista is one dollar. It's not too much to ask for, right? If you could make your own double mocha-breve, you would. But you can't, there are few of us who can and our services are tip worthy.


Lastly, you are so very welcome. Now you'll never have receive an 'a-hole latte'. As for me, i'll be able to sleep tonight knowing i did some good in the world today. And remember tipping is good karma!

3 comments:

jeffandlorraine said...

Happy Birthday Als!!! Thanks for the tip education. Although the "a-hole" cup would be pretty funny get! I hope your tips pick up. Love ya!

Haggle said...

Doooood

thats why you get out of the tipping business and just make it up in an hourly wage...

I think

Also, I hate tips that are only slightly less change than what was given to them...
Do you really need that extra quarter? Fuckin A, Some people..
Although I have gotten broke off of tipping for a cup of coffee every morning. :)

Haggle said...

So you know what else is gay.

When you go to a coffee shop and ask for brown sugar.
They say yeah, its over there.

You go over there, theres raw sugar, no brown sugar.
you go back, they say oh, well its brown..

pffft.
Dont they know if I am asking for brown sugar I am probably on my period, b/c everyone knows brown sugar helps your menstrual cramps.
(and not to mention has less calories, weight wise not volume wise than white sugars)

gah